I Don't Want to Jinx It!

Yesterday, I had a very random thought pop into my head.

I began wondering, "Where in the world did the phrase, 'I don't want to jinx it, but...,' come from?" I had used this exact expression only the day before when talking to my husband, and, during my reverie yesterday, I was shocked to discover that a legitimate fear accompanied this phrase! A part of me was seriously afraid that if I told my husband the good thing that had been happening in my life, that I would jinx it and it would end. I almost laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of this realization (later, while relating this to my husband, I did laugh out loud), but it was also a very sobering thought.

How did a made-up word come to hold real fear for me and, I suspected, for other people as well?

I contemplated the question further, and I came to realize this phrase has become a "comical," indirect way of expressing my fear that God is going to take away the good thing, event, person, whatever, in my life. I have actually been afraid that if I share with others about the good gifts God has given me (because all good gifts are from God [James 1:17]), that I will set off a chain reaction that will result in His taking them away from me. Ridiculous, I know, but it's true.

I suspect that I am not the only person who has worried God will remove His blessings from his/her life. The very sad part is that this fear of losing what God has given to us prevents two very important things from happening:

First, it prevents us from fully enjoying the good gifts the Father has lavished on us. If there is always a small voice in the back of our minds whispering, "Be careful! Don't enjoy this too much or talk about it with others because, if you do, it won't last long!," then we will be living in a state of fearful trepidation rather than joyful acceptance of what He has blessed us with. We will be robbing God's free, gracious blessings of their blessedness.

Second, and most importantly, this fear prevents us from proclaiming the goodness of the Lord in our lives! If we hesitate to share God's blessings with others because we're afraid we might "jinx" them, we will miss valuable, precious opportunities to bring glory to our Father's Name. Instead of showing the world a heart that is enraptured by the Father's love and goodness, we will be showing them a timid heart that is fearful of the Father's hand in our lives. But "God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline" (2 Tim. 1:7, NASB). 

In order to overcome this fear, we must first discover where it comes from. I considered this for a while as well, and I believe this fear is first rooted in memories of good gifts that were taken away. God gives and He takes away, and this is something that is hard for me, and many people, to accept sometimes. Understandably, we don't want what we have desired, what we have dreamed of, what we have prayed for, to be taken away from us. When, in God's perfect wisdom, it is taken away, this cultivates in us a fear of fully embracing the new gifts He brings into our lives.

Whether this fear is a result of past loses or merely an unfounded but, nevertheless, real anxiety about losing a blessing, I believe this fear is secondly, and ultimately, rooted in a mind that is fixed too greatly on the temporal. If I am fearful of losing a gift God has given me on this earth, then I am holding on too tightly to that which was never meant to be eternal. 

The fact of the matter is, all good gifts Jesus gives me while I draw breath on this earth--apart from Himself and my salvation--will come to an end! 

Whether in the moment when I draw my last breath, or sometime before then, every blessed gift and circumstance will cease. If they end before the day my Savior takes me home, new blessings will replace them, because God delights in giving His children good gifts (Matt. 7:11). But those too will someday end. This is because, while God loves to bless His kids on this earth, He never intended for us to be too comfortable here. 

This place, after all, is not our home. It is temporary, and it is hard. It is hard because of sin, and the difficulties we face are meant (among other reasons) to fix our hearts and minds on the eternal, on the Hope we have that awaits us in heaven. 

Our losses are a part of that hardship that is meant to point us to Him.

If I let myself meditate on the fact that the earthly gifts God gives me are temporary, that they were never meant to last forever, and that I possess a far greater, eternal Gift, then I will be free to embrace to the fullest the temporary blessings God has bestowed on me, however long they may last!

I will be free to rejoice in the joy they have brought to me, an undeserving sinner, in the midst of a fallen world! 

I will be free to proclaim without constraint the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!  

And, whenever those gifts may pass away, my joy will not cease, because it will be rooted first and foremost in the most precious, eternal Gift I have, or will ever, receive!

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Lord Jesus, thank You that the greatest gifts You have ever given me--Yourself and my salvation--are ones that will never be taken away! Thank You that no matter what life may bring, these are gifts I can always cling to and rest in. Thank You also for Your abundant grace and love that You pour out on us by giving us even more blessings and gifts throughout this life! I acknowledge, Father, that they are temporary gifts, never meant to make me completely content or happy on this earth, because there is a far better, eternal Gift awaiting me with You.

However, I also acknowledge that these gifts are meant to bring me joy for the season that they are a part of my life--that they are good. Therefore, I surrender my fear of losing them to You, and I choose to freely enjoy them while they are mine and to proclaim them to the world that it may know Your love and goodness! By Your grace and strength alone, Father, I do this, and I ask that You would help me to surrender all my "jinxes" to You. Thank You, Abba. I love You!

In Your holy and precious Name I pray, Amen.     

Forgiveness Comes With A Price

Today during my quiet time with the Lord, I read Psalm 65. It is a wonderful Psalm that praises God for His abundant blessings and provision! It is full of His tender mercies not only to mankind, but to the earth itself: "The grasslands of the desert overflow; the hills are clothed with gladness" (v. 12).

Verse 3 in particular, however, stood out to me. King David wrote, "When we were overwhelmed by sins, you forgave our transgressions." A footnote next to the word "forgave" directed me to the bottom of the page where I was shown that the verse may also have read, "When we were overwhelmed by sins, you made atonement for our transgressions." It struck me that the word "forgave" could also have been the phrase "made atonement for." To make atonement for something means to make reparation, or payment, for something, and usually that something is a wrong that has been committed.

Jesus made atonement for our sins when He paid the penalty our sins demanded: death. He died in our place on the cross that, through faith in His sacrifice and resurrection, our sins might be forgiven and we might have eternal life with Him!

I have known since I was a little girl that Jesus died for my sins on the cross, and that when I repent of my sins and believe in His Name, He will forgive me of my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. Today, however, I was struck with a deeper understanding of forgiveness than I had ever considered before. Hebrews 9:22 says, "[The] law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness."

Being God, Jesus had, and has, the authority to forgive sins, but by the law He Himself set forth centuries ago, it was necessary that blood be shed in order for our sins to be forgiven. Forgiveness came with a price: our lives. But, in His unfathomable love and mercy, God chose to pay the price forgiveness demanded Himself, and He offered His life instead. Oh, Abba...how amazing is Your love for us who are so unworthy!

Dwelling on the awesome, necessary price Jesus paid in order that our sins might be forgiven, I began to consider how this new revelation about forgiveness should be applied to my life. If the greatest act of forgiveness demanded the greatest sacrifice this world will ever know, then I must expect to pay a price as well when I choose to forgive another.

Forgiveness is far more than my saying, "I forgive you," whether directly to someone's face or indirectly in my heart. Forgiveness will also demand that I pay a price as Christ did, and that price is a denial of myself. I must deny myself any desire, when I am in the midst of my pain and hurt, to punish that person for hurting me, to hurt them back, to act as judge over them, to deny them forgiveness when it is sought, or to bring up their sin again in the future.

If Jesus chose not to condemn, not to retaliate, to offer forgiveness without hesitation to us who could never deserve it, to remove our sins as far as the east is from the west and to remember them no more...then when I choose to forgive, I too must pay the price of denying myself and must offer forgiveness as freely as He did, no matter how I might feel. I may have to forgive many times, because the hurt will not automatically disappear when I forgive and I must lay the pain at His feet, but by the strength and grace He provides, I know it is possible to pay the price forgiveness requires.

Only then will I truly be forgiving others as Christ has forgiven me.