My dear friend, Cameo, and I are reading through Genesis together. A couple days ago, I read the first half of Genesis 33, which recounts the time when Jacob is returning to his homeland with his wives, children, servants, and livestock. But he is returning to more than just his homeland--he is returning to his twin brother, Esau. Many, many years before, when Jacob still lived with his parents, Isaac and Rebekah, and his brother, Jacob disguised himself as his brother and deceived his father into giving him Esau's blessing. As the firstborn, Esau was meant to receive his father's blessing, but Jacob received it instead, fulfilling what God had told Rebekah when she was pregnant with her sons: "Two nations are in your womb ... one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger" (Gen. 25:23). Understandably, Esau was very angry with Jacob for what he had done and swore that once their father was dead he would kill Jacob. Rebekah told Jacob to flee from her brother's wrath to his uncle, Laban, until Esau's anger subsided, and then he could safely return to them.
Flash forward many years and Jacob is now finally returning to his homeland. He does not know if Esau is still plotting to kill him, so he sends a messenger ahead of him to tell Esau that he is coming, that he might "find favor in [his] eyes" (Gen. 32:5). When the messenger returns, he tells Jacob, "We went to your brother Esau, and now he is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him" (v. 6). Immediately, Jacob is filled with fear and dread that his brother is coming with an army to annihilate him and his family out of vengeance for what Jacob did to him so many years before.
That night, Jacob prays, "O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, O LORD, who said to me, 'Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,' I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness You have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed the Jordan, but now I have become two groups. Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. But You have said, 'I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendents like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted'" (v. 9-12).
As I read this prayer, I was greatly moved by the manner in which Jacob prayed to God. Within his prayer, Jacob acknowledges his unworthiness to receive the amazing blessings God has poured out on him, and he praises God for His faithfulness and love toward him. What struck me most, however, was how Jacob repeated in his prayer promises that God had made to him, to prosper him and his descendents. Jacob may have been praying this as a way of saying, "God, remember the promises You made to me and protect me from Esau's wrath. Do not forget Your promises!" God, of course, never forgets anything ;), but there are times in our lives when it feels as if He has, and in those moments, it is very hard not to cry out to the Lord to show us evidence of His promises in our lives, that He will be faithful to fulfill them.
I think this was partly what Jacob was doing when he prayed this prayer. Because he recognized the faithfulness of God within his prayer, I think he had faith that God was him, but I also think that, in his fear, he needed God to remind him that He remembered His promises to Jacob, and that is partly why he "reminded" God of His promises as he prayed.
However, I also think Jacob chose to incorporate God's promises within his prayer because he needed to remember them. Overwhelmed with fear and worry at the uncertainty of his situation, Jacob probably could not see how his impending encounter with Esau could possibly end well. However, rather than allow his fears to fill his head with a myriad of doubts about the future (none of which he could know for certain would come to pass), Jacob chose to cling to what he knew and believed was certain: the promises of God. God's past faithfulness in his life had taught Jacob to run to those promises in times of uncertainty, and to cling to the encouragement and assurance of God's protection and love that they gave. If God said he was to become a great nation, then, by golly, somehow God would deliver him from Esau, and that is what Jacob chose to believe. As it turns out, Jacob's faith in God's promises was justified:
"Jacob looked up and there was Esau, coming with his four hundred men; so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel and the two maidservants. He put the maidservants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear. He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother. But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept" (Gen. 33:1-4). :)
I am encouraged by Jacob's prayer and faith, and especially by God's unceasing faithfulness, to respond as Jacob did when fears and uncertainties about the future creep into my heart and mind. I pray that all of us would choose in those moments to remember the awesome promises of God He has given to us throughout His Word, to strengthen us when we are weak, to encourage us when we are discouraged, to calm us when we are afraid, and to give us peace to rest in Him when the circumstances around us are uncertain.
Recently, Brian and I were in San Antonio for a soccer tournament that his soccer team was in. We had a wonderful time and got to visit with some dear friends and family! On the way home, I was giving Brian a break from driving and I was behind the wheel. We were nearing Amarillo, where we were going to spend the night, and huge, dark, rainclouds loomed over the horizon before us. On a previous trip through Texas, we had driven through a rainstorm that caused our visibility to be less than zero, and this was during the daytime. This time, it was almost 9pm and getting darker by the minute. We had not yet reached the rain, but as I peered at the massive clouds before us, the sheets of rain in the distance, and the lightning dancing across the sky, I could not help but be filled with a lingering sense of fear and dread. But then, I remembered Jacob and his prayer...
I remembered the many times before when God has protected me, and Brian, through dangerous weather, and I remembered God's promises to never leave me or forsake me, that He is my refuge and my strength, and that He will work everything for the good of those who love Him. I wish I could say that my fear ceased completely at that moment and that I drove into the rain with a huge smile on my face...but I didn't. What I can say is that as I remembered His faithfulness, His promises, and prayed to Him for protection, my fears were not as great as they had been and a feeling of peace settled over me. When we reached the rain, it was completely dark, but the rain only lasted a few minutes and, though it was strong, it was not as bad as we had experienced before. God protected us, just as He has always done before, and we made it safely to our hotel...and, I hope, my faith grew a little more. I praised and thanked God for protecting us and for helping me to remember the lesson He had taught me and for helping me to apply it in that uncertain situation.
Once again, my faith in God's faithfulness, in His promises, was justified, just as Jacob's was. It is my prayer that the next time I am faced with feelings of fear and anxious thoughts of the future, when I am surrounded by uncertain circumstances, that I will remember His past faithfulness, will remember the certainty of God's promises, and will allow them to replace my fear and doubt with peace and faith to rest in Him. I pray this for you as well!
Lord God, thank You for Your unfailing love and faithfulness toward those who seek Your face and rest in the enduring promises that You have given to us. I pray that You would help me, and all of us, to look to You when we are overcome by fear and worry and that You will help us to remember Your promises. Thank You for the greatest promise of eternal life that You have given to us through Your Son, Jesus Christ! May our greatest source of strength, peace, comfort, and hope be always found in Him. I love You. In Your holy Name I pray, Amen.
